Am I getting meaner or are people getting more sensitive? I think it comes as a by-product from having some jobs where you just need to develop a tough skin, but also I’ve discovered that to plan your wedding the way you want you do have to be a bit of a cow!
I do not mean that I have become a bridezilla- at least I hope not! There have been no meltdowns, no tantrums and no outrageous demands met with shock by vendors and loved ones. But whilst the one piece of advice that everyone wants to give you is “do what you want to do, it’s your wedding so screw the rest of them,” that’s only good advice if you do not care about staying friends with your siblings and can honestly still enjoy yourself if your mum is crying in the corner.
Getting the balance right between arranging what you want and not accidentally offending anyone is actually much harder than you would think!
Who knew that [insert name here] really wanted to be a bridesmaid or sing at the wedding or do your hair, (because you know she’s been a hairdresser for almost a month now,) and suddenly she’s really offended that you did not want her to do any of those things. Well I didn’t! And now I’m the bad guy!
Well, it’s not quite as bad as all that, but honestly you need to be very sensitive when you get married. Everyone has an opinion on what you do, and yes it’s easy to say “well they’ll get over it,” and I have in the past- I’ve probably even written those very words- but if you really care about their opinion it can be hard to get over the upset yourself. Weddings are extremely personal to the couple (or should be) and what a lot of people outside of the couple do not realise is that it can be quite painful to hear that they do not think you should do things the way you are planning them. What they think is a casual throwaway comment about how they would have done something differently, or how they don’t really think you should have a bubble machine at a wedding (what?!), can really hit home to someone who has been planning and researching this for months and months.
At the end of the day, once you are married and the party is cleared up, you still want to love and get along with everyone you invite, so you can’t just shut your eyes and belt out, “It’s my party so I’ll disappoint you all if I want to.” But at the same time you want to plan the day that best suits the two of you as a couple. If you are wallflowers then by all means, plan your mother-in-law’s ideal wedding for her son. But if you have any backbone and personality between the two of you then you need to learn to walk the tightrope and try to make yourselves happy whilst getting everyone else on board, oh yes and coming in under budget.